1imaginarygirl: (Dark Klaha)
2011-08-19 08:28 am

First Post on Dreamwidth

So while I wait for all my old LJ stuff to import...

My online journals seem to represent chapters in my life.
My first was on diaryland.com, and covered my teenage angst.
Then I got my first livejournal account, thanks to an invite code from my sister. That started as I was finishing college (UK college, that is) and preparing to move up north with my boyfriend Richard.
That journal covered my first university experience as well. Richard and I split up after 3 years and I started my last year at uni with a new boyfriend, Greg. Richard ended up being a stalkerish psycho ex so I ditched that journal and got another LJ entirely.
That new livejournal ended up covering a very strange period of my life, as Greg came out as trans and began living full-time as Alice. It was a period of hope as our relationship thrived as I supported her through transition. I started going to evening classes to gain the qualifications I needed to get back to uni and actually take a degree that I was passionate about (Japanese language).
As the real world ground me down in an endless boring succession of identi-kit days in a dead-end job and frustrating college classes (jumping through hoops to get the pieces of paper I needed) I began to neglect my LJ. I moved over to another account and deleted the old one for personal reasons. That final account was very sparsely updated as my hope began to fade. My uni dreams were continually stymied by one hurdle after another, Alice's transition faltered as we came up against NHS funding problems and poor-quality surgery choices. Our relationship began to falter too, I won't go into it all in this post (details will be in the old imported ones...) but Alice ended up having an affair with a married man at work.
So here we are, at another new beginning. I did get accepted to Uni - I start a degree in Linguistics with Japanese in September. And Alice did get her surgery privately and completed her transition. So we finally achieved the dreams we had yearned after for years. Just not with each other.
Which is making me cry a little bit so I'm going to stop here.
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2011-06-30 01:23 pm


We tried to work things out, but Alice has been cheating on me with a married man she works with.
I gave her a chance to break things off with him. She managed about 2 weeks before they were texting each other and going for drinks again.
I devoted myself to her for 5 years, and now it's over, and I am very sad.
But I'm trying to look to the future and I know I can move on.
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2010-03-16 12:25 pm

(no subject)

I've been a bit ill recently... The lovely double whammy of Upper Respitory Infection triggering a re-occurence of labyrinthitis. Luvverly. On the positive side, I've been told I don't have cervical cancer. So, yay!

Last night I woke up having a bit of a dry-mouthed choking fit. I decided to suck on a throat sweet to stimulate some saliva production. This is a really stupid thing to do when you're half asleep -_- Yes, I fell asleep with the throat sweet in my mouth. Luckily, I didn't choke on it, but during the night it managed to fall out of my mouth and work its way round to the back of my head. I woke up, ran my hands through my hair, and felt a sticky mass...

1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2010-03-11 08:30 am

(no subject)

My account at jpopsuki.eu has been disabled :( I'm assuming it's due to inactivity, as I'm pretty sure I haven't broken any of the rules. I can't believe I left it long to enough to get disabled -_- I wonder if they'll let me reactivate it? It's a good thing LJ doesn't do anything similar *hemhem*

Alice: You smell nice
Me: You always say that when I wear this lip balm
Alice: I think I say it when you smell of something unusual
Me: Oh - so you don't like the way I usually smell?

Sometimes I do the Womanly Word Twisting thing for my own amusement.
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2010-03-10 09:21 am

Merry Christmas!

And a happy new year!
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2009-12-07 08:46 am

Fed Up

I'm fed up. I'm sick and tired of everything being an uphill struggle.
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2009-10-25 08:33 am


I was in the library, browsing the graphic novel section, when I found a copy of Bryan Talbot's Alice in Sunderland. I had some time to kill so I settled myself down in a comfortable chair and began to read.

Within those pages I learned about The Victoria Hall Disaster of 1883.

Victoria Hall was a small theatre in Sunderland (it's gone now - destroyed by German bombs and fire in the middle of the 20th century). Sunderland was an industrial, shipbuilding town then; it's believed to be the point of entry of cholera into Britain, the first outbreak being 1881. A grim place. A grim life for the working class.

In 1883 playbills went up advertising 'The Greatest Treat For Children Ever Given.' There was to be a variety show at the Victoria Theatre, just for children. Seats were only 1d. each, making the show accessible to poorer children who might otherwise never visit the theatre. Mr and Mrs Fay were travelling entertainers putting on a mixture of magic, jokes and songs. Approximately 2,000 children attended, mainly between the ages of 7 and 11. A few younger siblings had been allowed along as well - 2 years old, 3 years old. Imagine how excited they were. Hardly any adults around, a chance to escape mum and dad and teacher, a chance to forget about how cold and hungry they were at home, a chance to just have fun for an afternoon.

At the end of the performance it was announced that PRESENTS would be given out to the audience! The kids were stirred up into a frenzy of excitement. Mr. Fay began distributing gifts to the children in the first few rows. The children up in the gallery realised they had better get downstairs pretty sharpish if they didn't want to miss out.

And that's when things went wrong.

The flight of stairs down from the gallery ended in a door. The door had been opened only just enough for one child at a time to pass through. And it was bolted from the inside. From the children's side. As they rushed down the stairs and pushed their way through the door, some of them became wedged in the tiny gap. The crowd behind them continued to press forward. Children slipped, fell, and were trampled by their friends as the frenzied crowd urged onward. The screams of those being crushed were drowned out by the excited cries of children eager for presents.

There were few adults in the theatre that day. When someone realised there was a commotion, they rushed to the door. The bolt was beyond reach, the door could not be opened. At first those on the scene thought it was merely a case of a few kids being stuck and injuring their limbs in the squeeze. As the first children were pulled to safety, the corpses of suffocated boys and girls were revealed.

The janitor made his way to the gallery and opened another door, herding children away from the crowded stairwell. Approximately 600 children were rescued because of his actions. Another man managed to eventually tear the door from its hinges. Apparently the children were piled up as high as his head beyond it. Anyone who showed signs of life - groaning, crying, moving limbs - were extracted as quickly as possible.

183 children died in the theatre. At least another 100 survived but were badly injured. The dead were laid out before the theatre as word spread and desperate parents came looking for their children. Newspaper reports tell of a man who found the bodies of all three of his children. Another report is of a young girl, mutely carrying her dead little sister home to her mother.

It isn't known who was responsible for bolting the door. As a direct result of the tragedy, UK law was changed so that all public buildings had to have outward-opening emergency exits. The law is still in place today, though that doesn't mean we haven't had similar disasters since. A memorial to the Victoria Hall disaster now stands in Mowbray Park, Sunderland.

I sat in the library with tears streaming down my face. It was one of the saddest things I have ever read.
1imaginarygirl: (Blue Lips)
2009-10-02 04:57 pm

Vignette #1

It takes me an hour to walk between home and work. I have refined the route over the course of a few weeks, shaving off corners and rounding the edges so my path is smooth and pleasant, traversible on auto-pilot. Part of my route now takes me through a local park.

As I walked through the park today, feeling full of love and optimism, I noticed a conker on the grass. I remembered how my sister and I would gather them as children. We would fill our pockets with the biggest, shiniest conkers we could find and take them home. I don't think we ever actually played the game. The conkers would sit, forgotten and shrivelled until our mum surreptitiously binned them. I used to play outside quite a lot when I was a child, I mused, but would I even recognise a horse chestnut tree now?

I began to examine the different trees in the park. Dog walkers passed me as I stood, contemplating the shapes of leaves. An autumnal breeze brushed my cheek, and it made me think about how much we owe to these plants... The wind, the very air we breathe. I walked slowly over the grass, towards the path that would take me back to the city's tarmac.

As I walked, I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. Two children. One with the icy blonde-and-blue colouring Hitler so admired, the other with hair cropped like a chemotherapy patient. Both in matching football kits. Both no older than 11. They hurtled down the path, shouting and swearing. I walked over to the holly bush, making sure I wasn't in their way when they came rocketing around the bend.

"Holy shit!" one of them shouted, a girlish bravado - who can say the most swear words before we get home? I didn't pay them much attention. I was examing the holly's berries and leaves, and in my head a jaunty tune rang: The holly and the ivy... when they are both full grown... or all the trees that are in the wood... the holly bears the crown. Then I realised the children were still there, and they were talking to me. Something about a dog...?

I turned around to face them.

"You lost your dog, or something?" the blonde demanded. I realised he wasn't a girl after all, it was just that his voice hadn't broken.

"No," I said with a calm smile "I'm just looking at the trees."

I turned away and continued my examination... I'd just spotted a bramble bush nestled deeply behind the holly bush and I wondered what sort of berries it produced. The boys stayed for a moment before trudging off. I heard them laugh at me, then one made a dismissive comment about how "sad" I was.

I looked at their retreating backs.

"Oh no, my little friends," I said, in the same calm tone, "I believe you are the ones who are truly sad."
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2007-05-21 05:35 pm

[livejournal.com profile] peffkitten will no longer be updated

It's much too late, you say,
For doing this now
We should have done it then,
Well it just goes to show
How wrong you can be!
And how you really should know
That it's never too late
To get up and...

Kick out the gloom!
Kick out the blues!
Tear out the pages with all the bad news!
Pull down the mirrors, and pull down the walls,
Tear up the stairs, and tear up the floors.

Oh just burn down the house!
Burn down the street!
Turn everything red and the dream is complete!

With the sound of your world going up in the fire
It's a perfect day to throw back your head
Kiss it all Goodbye.
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2007-05-01 01:46 pm


Let me just say, Whitby was so much fun! I am definitely going back in October ^_^
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2007-04-03 06:37 pm

(no subject)

Just browsing on eBay and this caught my eye...


Nooooo, I'm not going to buy it. I would look stupid wearing something like that :P I just love how over-the-top it is. Lace! Lace! Ribbons! More lace! Where else can I put ribbons?! More! More! Let's put on ears too! Let's put LACE around them!!!!

Oh, and I've been having lots of weird dreams lately. I won't go into too much detail, but last week I dreamt I was Jesus. What the hell?! (Excuse the pun...)

Interestingly, in a lot of these weird dreams I half-wake up by the end and start to try and apply logic to the situation. So in the Jesus dream at first I accepted everything, but by the end I was thinking "hang on, this doesn't make sense - why have I got a beard?!"
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2007-03-27 04:35 pm

Boots for Sale!

In order to accumulate urgently needed fundage I'm going to sell some boots and clothes etc that I never wear, starting with;

Black Platform Knee High Boots - Size 6

I'm only offering them to UK bidders because trying to work out overseas postage was giving me a heacache, but I may be persuaded to offer them worldwide...

Thanks for looking, if you do xxx
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2007-03-26 04:35 pm

Good News!

I think I got the job \8D/
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2007-03-16 03:48 pm

(no subject)

Dear LJ, what is wrong with you? You've crashed my browser 3 times in as many minutes.

EDIT Half an hour later... Log-in attempt number 5...
EDIT Number 6... *growls*
EDIT I just want to read my f-list! Is that too much to ask?!
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2007-03-08 03:38 pm

(no subject)

Spotted this in [livejournal.com profile] wannabe_toy's LJ...
Read more... )
Awesome. I'm a horny intellectual working class punk. I scored lower on "travel" than I should have done because it had stupid sections like "which of these states have you visited," which didn't exactly apply to me. Fun quiz ^_^
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2007-03-04 08:33 pm

(no subject)

I've just gone back and friends-locked a load of posts that were previously public. I'm trying to keep less personal stuff out in the open. I have also been considering changing LJs. I won't delete it, I just think I may need to make a fresh start.

Sorry to my f-list, who may be feeling a bit neglected. Things are very hectic at the moment.
1imaginarygirl: (Unashamedly Autismo)
2007-02-26 05:03 pm

(no subject)

This is fucking disgusting and nearly made me cry


Yeah, maybe the waitress was having a crappy day but there is NO excuse for behaving in that way. I would consider that abusive behaviour towards an NT child, let alone an autistic one.
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2007-02-20 09:28 pm

(no subject)

Fucking eBay screwed me over!

No, this isn't about the previously mentioned PayPal thing...

When I listed some CDs last week, the link for one of them (HIM "Razorblade Romance") in my confirmation e-mail just took me to a page saying;

This listing () has been removed or is no longer available. Please make sure you entered the right item number.
If the listing was removed by eBay, consider it cancelled. Note: Listings that have ended more than 90 days ago will no longer appear on eBay.

So I thought, ehhh? and checked the listing for "Deep Shadows and Brilliant Hightlights" (yes, I am selling off the CD collection acquired in my adolescence) and that had exactly the same message, but everything else I put up worked fine!

I assumed that it had been removed and cancelled by eBay, as it told me to. (I thought maybe because I mentioned suicide in the listing and this violated their codes)
I tried relisting them. Razorblade Romance worked on the 3rd attempt (after re-writing to remove the suicide reference), and Deep Shadows on the 2nd attempt. In "My eBay" it said I was selling one copy of each. Ok.

So the auctions for both finished today. I am now notified, for the first time, that I had THREE auctions for Razorblade Romance running!! (Only one showed in "My eBay"!) and TWO for Deep Shadows (Again, only one in "My eBay"!!) Lucky for me, only one copy of Razorblade Romance was bid on, but unfortunately both copies of Deep Shadows went. Neither of then had been paid for over Paypal, so I don't have to sort out a refund. I e-mailed one of the winners and explained the problem to her, and opened an Unpaid Item Dispute I want her to agree to. I've e-mailed eBay and whinged at them. This reflects very badly on me as a seller!

I checked the e-mails that said "Item Sold" for Deep Shadows, and the "Item Not Sold" e-mail for Razorblade Romance x2 and guess what they link to...?

This listing () has been removed or is no longer available. Please make sure you entered the right item number.
If the listing was removed by eBay, consider it cancelled. Note: Listings that have ended more than 90 days ago will no longer appear on eBay.

What the hell went on there? My god I'm annoyed! I have 100% positive feedback and if it gets messed up because of this I will be very upset ;_;
1imaginarygirl: (Default)
2007-02-16 02:23 pm

eBay help!

Ok, I've sold a few thinsg on eBay but I'd like some advice from experienced people...
One of the winners of my auction had 0 feedback... and her account was made in October 2002. Weird. Nearly 5 years and no bidding history? Also, the Paypal notification I got from her was suspicious. Here's why;

Subject line: All other Paypal payments I have recieved the Subject line has said "Item No: (number) - Notification of payment received" whereas this e-mail had no item number , just "Notification of payment recieved."
Graphic: The header looked authentic, but the graphic contained the line "You've recieved new funds!" which I have never seen in a Paypal e-mail before (from the UK or US)
Text: E-mails from Paypal have always said "You have an Instant Payment of (amount) (currency) from (member name)" but this one has a different phrase. It says "This email confirms that you have received a payment for (amount) (currency) from (FULL NAME) (e-mail address)
ID number: The e-mail is a "Receipt ID" which I have never seen before. It contains a number in a yellow box and then says underneath "The number above is the buyer's receipt ID for this transaction. Please retain it for your records so that you will be able to reference this transaction for customer service." What is that? I have never come across that before :/

According to my account the payment HAS gone through, but I am still suspicious, because there is so much weirdness. The address is listed as verified, however. Do verified addresses generate different e-mails...? Or is this some kind of scam? But, if the money's already in my Paypal account is there anything she can do to rip me off?

I've e-mailed her and said I won't post it until she's confirmed her address with me. Please, someone with more eBay experience, what do you think?